If I leave, I know he'd have no way of taking care of himself. He doesn't work. He doesn't drive. He'd get evicted. I am too scared to bring this up to the leasing office.
He's verbally abusive. He's controlling and has eavesdropped on every phone-call I've made to family or friends and I feel like I can't even talk to them, anymore.
I just want to go. I can't discuss anything with him without him becoming frightening. He has *yet* to lay a hand on me, but he's yelled and thrown things. Intimidation tactics.
But will it make me look negligent? Are there any legal consequences with leaving him unemployed and unable to support himself? (He's not disabled, he simply refuses to stop being dependent on me.)
I don't know if I could even get a divorce with him refusing to cooperate. I can't even afford an attorney ...
But can I at least leave without telling him where I am going? Without consequence? I'm really at a loss and I feel like anyplace is better than here.
I don't think you should even care at this point. He's a grown man! Hes not your responsibility. He's not a helpless child!
Leave him. Do you honestly care about your reputation at court? Enough to stay with a guy like this? Stop being so proud and just do it. He's not going to get a job until he's forced to. If you're around that won't happen. You'll be waiting an awful long time.
If you leave, then yeah, he'll have to do something and get his life figured out.
I think that would benefit the both you, wouldn't you agree?
You are making yourself a victim. If you are truly unhappy, stop making excuses about why you "can't" do this or that, and start taking action. A good place to start would be to see if there is a Legal Aid office in your area, where you can get free legal advice. That may help you decide your next course of action.
Stop supporting him. Don't give him money. Cut off all but the basic utilities at your residence. He CAN take care of himself. He can get a job and support himself. You said he wasn't incapable of working, he just chose not to work. Why should he work if you're going to let him sponge off you, and take advantage?
Film him yelling and throwing things. And if he eavesdrops on your phone calls, so what? Make the calls anyway. Let him listen in.
Can you leave without consequence? Not if you're on the lease. If you're on the lease, the consequence is that you'll have to continue paying rent until the lease expires.
You need to get out now. You can fix the financial issues of leaving later but you can never recover from an abusive relationship. If you do not have a save place to go (friend or family) go immediately to a shelter. Don't stay one minute to get pics or films of abuse. You do not need those. It sounds like there are no children so just get out. Once you get out you can start thinking about divorce or annulment. Annulment might be your better option. Just get out. Your "little money" will be running out very soon.
Sooner or later, you will have to make a decision. I think you know that already. Only you can decide when the time is right for you.
Is there any chance that he would go to marriage counseling with you?
Don't worry about him, worry about you.
You have every right to get the hell out of there. I do not see any problem with a court considering the abusive behavior as reasonable grounds for leaving. Do not allow this behavior to continue or it will cause great harm to your well being. Get out of there and show him that you will not put up with his foul behavior.
